~Annibal

...Falling, Yes I Am Falling...

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About Me Varied / Hobbyist Member Anne HeckerFemale/United States

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~Annibal

Anne Hecker
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied

United States

Current Residence: Colorado, USA.
"Be happy for me, and all who fly free."

www.youtube.com/user/annibal13

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9/15!

Nov 21, 2011, 1:19:31 PM by ~Annibal
Journals / Personal

I have uploaded 9/15 drawings that have been promised before any more photography! I have actually thought this is great for me to do despite the time in between updates because it's making me more critical of my photography. Just because I take 1k pics doesn't mean I have to upload or even edit 50 of them!

More to come. I have 2 more from like drawings to complete, and after that I want to start uploading cover design ideas I have for the novels I am working on, which I'm not sure if I want to try to get them fo' reals published or try self publishing them and advertising the hell out of them myself on places like FanFiction.net or whatever. It would be cool to be actually published. We'll see, we'll see!

I'm currently participating in NaNoWriMo 2011, and have already completed 50k words, but I want to FINISH this freakin' novel and I'm only about halfway through. But I'm really excited about this novel, more than the other two I have going. It's about a 15yo boy named Andrew and a 17 yo girl named Jerry. Andrew is murdered and accidentally resuscitated in Jerry's body, which, turns out, is a crime in the Afterlife. So he's arrested, and it all goes downhill from there. It's a supernatural escapade through the afterworld, a nation called Duat which is ruled by a spirit named Auf. The Afterworld is inhabited by the spirits and ghosts of the dead, as well as creatures we could probably recognize, called devas, and other beings from mythologies. It's very fun to write.

Sorry I never respond to comments. It's part of the weird ingrained oddities of me, that have included my avoidance of the phrase "You're welcome" when I am thanked (which results in me saying "Thank YOU" in response, which honestly is weird. So I'm changing that), and how I am working on doing normal things like actually ever responding to emails and DOING all the artwork I've said I'd do for people. Urgh?

Also, there's SOOOO much personal stuff going on in my life right now that I can't talk about, it's getting to the point where I can feel all my stress building like a volcano of anxiety in m heart that might explode one of these days like a previously sleepy island in the Ring of Fire that will blot out the sun for days and make the world a full degree colder.

Yup.

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Listening to: I'm Not the Lonely Son - Electric President
Reading: Dracula by Bram Stoker
Playing: FFXII (ALMOST DONE. FINALLY.)
Eating: Tootsie rolls.

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~Melonamen Apr 5, 2012 New member Hobbyist Photographer

Thanks for the fav!

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Go on, make your noise, try to scare us. You want to see how a human dies? At ramming speed!-Emily Wong, Mass Effect series

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*Choiicho Feb 1, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

Thank you so much for the watch!!

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~Annibal Feb 2, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Thanks for the gorgeous artwork!

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"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." ~ Nelson Mandela

~ToruKun1 Jan 7, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

UGH, something happened today that made me positively SEETHE (and freak out). My mom and I walked our dogs down to the local mini-mart to buy lottery tickets (our state's lottery is up to $16.2 million) and on the way home we were talking about all the stuff we could do with the money and my mom made the positively INFURIATING (at least to me) suggestion that we make a scholarship "FOR POOR WHITE PEOPLE, LIKE UUUUSSS! 'CUZ EVERYBODY ELSE HAS ALREADY GOT ONE!" I told her to shut up and that scholarships based on race only make up for 0.25% of all scholarships available and that there's a LOT more for people who identify as German, Irish, Italian, etc. and various other European nationalities and ethnicities.
My parents are of the mindset that DA ICKLE WHITE PEEPUL ARE OPPRESSED AND FUCKING BEANERS AND N*GGERS ARE TAKING OVER BAWWW! (I couldn't really bother to point we aren't oppressed because of our race, but rather our class because anytime I try to call her out on her naked racism she diverts it by couching it in the "IT'S NOT A MATTER OF RACE, IT'S A MATTER OF CLASS!" argument)
This whole thing put me in a really bad mood and I told her since I payed for half the tickets, if we won I got half the money. She chided me for already getting greedy before anything's happened and that "God doesn't want to give you anything if you're already changed!" I told her I was just fine and bitterly noted that I'm miserable without money and I'll probably be miserable with it. She got all sad and asked me WHY I felt miserable and I just didn't have the heart to tell her that most of what pisses me off nowadays is her and all the shit that comes out of her mouth. I ended up evading the question and told her later that if and when we won the lottery, I'd explain why I was so "miserable".
This is absolutely agonizing for me because I found out a few weeks ago that I'm the only person in our house who actually treats my mom decently (and I don't even hardly LIKE her!). This gutted me. I don't feel comfortable ever calling her out on anything 'cuz I'm afraid she'll see it as a personal attack and I'd just be a big meanie the way my dad and sister are to her. >_>V

--
❒ Single
❒ Taken
✔ Mentally dating a celebrity who has no idea I exist

"In a world full of butterflies, it took balls to be a caterpillar." - Luna Vachon

~Annibal Jan 10, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I'm so sorry

That really sucks. On a positive note, maybe it's a positive thing that your mom would be open to giving away money for people who need it if she suddenly came into possession of a lot of it, even if it's a bit misguided in reasoning!

Also, you are a great offspring. Honestly, she may bother you to the point that you don't like her, but you still don't take it out on her and that's more than way too many people can say.

It sucks that so many people in your life act so horrendously, be they internet strangers or the people closest you, but you really are wonderful at handling it. I mean, the rants are fine--many people need to rant. But I think it's very commendable that in many cases you doggedly state your case in the face on internet RAGE yet can control yourself when you could hurt the people who could be hurt by it.

But YES, god yes, you are so right on that matter it's not even...

--
"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." ~ Nelson Mandela

~ToruKun1 Jan 10, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

"Her first husband was abusive (physically and mentally, I think) so she just up and left. I guess that means EVERYONE ELSE IS CAPABLE OF DOING SO TOO (unless you fit some arbitrary criteria that excuses 'inaction'). So yeah...so much fail..."

I should specify that when I said "She" I was referring to my mom. So yeah, IF I DID IT, YOU CAN DO IT TOO LOL BOOTSTRAPS!

--
❒ Single
❒ Taken
✔ Mentally dating a celebrity who has no idea I exist

"In a world full of butterflies, it took balls to be a caterpillar." - Luna Vachon

~ToruKun1 Jan 10, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Yeah, my mom's all about "GOOD CHRISTIAN CHARITY", if you catch my drift. Like, she'll only deem you worthy of goodwill like money if you're a poor (Protestant Christian straight) white person. AND if you don't have any "moral failings" like being a teen mom or having A LOT of kids or you're some kind of addict or if you're in an abusive relationship "and there's no reason for you to not leave". THAT REMINDS ME of some shit she said on Christmas! Our TV was on the "LOL CHRISTMAS RADIO STATION" channel and some song came on that was sung by a woman who had murdered her husband for abusing her (her name escapes me now), but my mom noticed and she was all like "THE MURDERESS!?!?" and my dad said all tongue-in-cheek antagonize-y, "What, you don't think if a woman's being abused, she should fight back?"
"NO, I think they should just LEAVE! She wasn't even like any of those other broads who can't leave 'cuz they're financially dependent on their husband! She's rich!"

Her first husband was abusive (physically and mentally, I think) so she just up and left. I guess that means EVERYONE ELSE IS CAPABLE OF DOING SO TOO (unless you fit some arbitrary criteria that excuses 'inaction'). So yeah...so much fail...

Thanks for the internet huggles and whatnot, but what I go through is probably really not that big a deal. I mean, I'm not the one working at Starbucks who gets religious creeps asking me if so-and-so drink is "FOR JEWS" or if I'd go to heaven if I died on the way home from work (among other things). PLUS, I'm hardly really able to muster up the courage to say boo about it. When it's my parents I mostly just hide in my room and put my headphones on. With others I suffer in silence (and suffer DOUBLY 'cuz silence = acceptance, so I'm colluding with bigoted rhetoric).

--
❒ Single
❒ Taken
✔ Mentally dating a celebrity who has no idea I exist

"In a world full of butterflies, it took balls to be a caterpillar." - Luna Vachon

~ToruKun1 Dec 7, 2011 Student Traditional Artist

Oh jeez, I'm having some issues on an imageboard I frequent. Some guy thinks it's "interesting" that I believe that nobody deserves to be raped and that all rape is bad. He also said that some people just DESERVE to be raped the same way some people just DESERVE to be murdered and that it's weird that I don't think Bin Laden shouldn't have been raped and that pedophiles shouldn't be raped in prison and that "nothing is as black and white as you think it is". What the hell!? How do I deal with this?

--
❒ Single
❒ Taken
✔ Mentally dating a celebrity who has no idea I exist

"In a world full of butterflies, it took balls to be a caterpillar." - Luna Vachon

~Annibal Dec 9, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

Wut? Why are people SO DAMN FUCKED UP? I think the way you deal with it is by trying your best to ignore it, booze, and by talking about it in rant form. I am muchly glad Hathor has that thread now. Really, when someone is as incredibly stupid as person-on-imageboard, there's not much you can do to convince them their morals are garbage. So, rant! Hopefully talking it out helps, in written form or at Hathor or something.

What a craptacular person!

--
"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." ~ Nelson Mandela

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